Whatever you have to say, my friend,
Whether witty or grave or gay,
Condense as much as ever you can,
And say it the readiest way;
And whether you write of rural affairs
Or of matter and things in town,
Just take a word of friendly advice—
Boil it down.
For if you go spluttering over a page,
When a couple of lines would do,
Your butter is spread so much, you see,
That the bread looks plainly through;
So, when you have a story to tell
And would like a little renown,
To make quite sure of your wish, my friend,
Boil it down.
When writing an article for the press,
Whether prose or verse, just try
To settle your thoughts to the fewest words
And let them be crisp and dry;
And when it is finished and you suppose
It is done exactly brown,
Just look it over again and then
Boil it down.
For editors do not like to print
An article lazily long,
And the general reader does not care
For a couple of yards of song;
So gather your wits in the smallest space,
And if you want a little renown,
And every time you write, my friend,
Boil it down.
Anorak's Almanac is a book written by James Donovan Halliday. It is made up of various undated journal entries from Halliday's personal life concerning his interests in the videogames, films, music, and pop culture references of the 1980s. It was made available on Halliday's personal website, where it could be downloaded as a PDF file. Parzival once printed a physical copy of the book in his hideout on an old printer he had salvaged.
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