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Age Dysphoria
Age Dysphoria- the distressing feelings stemming from an individual’s experiences with puberty, and the larger aging process. Much of the distress is related to perception and social constructs prescribes age appropriate behavior. These distressing feelings
Age dysphoria can be thought of as a small sub-set of gender dysphoria. As with gender dysphoria, it could be said that age dysphoria could be kind of an irrelevant definition or even a harmful attempt to pathologize a group of people who don’t technically have a problem (rather society has a problem).
Simply put, people don’t like acting/presenting as something they are not just because thats the way their body decided to develop…
Typical Presentation:
1. An enduring concept of self that is younger than one’s chronological age.
2. Intense dissatisfaction with adult characteristics
3. Persistent fantasies of being younger
4. Persistent role-playing (regression) as being younger than one’s chronological age.
Common Triggers:
Body Image: being large, body hair, breast development, acne, muscle tone, hair loss, cellulite, lowering-voice, menstruation, wrinkles
Sexuality/Intimacy: experiencing sexual feelings and or being seen as sexual can be very distressing for some people.
Language: Getting “Sir’ed/Mam’ed”, “Hey Dude!”, “Hey Sexy!” etc.
Addressing Dysphoria:
1. Make One’s Self-Expression More Congruent With Their Identity-
What this means obviously depends on how one constructs their identity within the ABDL* spectrum, however it can be said unequivocally that repressing such a large aspect of one’s nature is going to be destructive. As with any identity there is room for exploration and flexibility. The first step towards authentic self-expression may be some inward reflection followed by gradual changes. It has been said that “A suit makes the man”. Diapers are something that most ABDL*s associate with very strongly, but they are also something subtle. Wearing diapers occasionally can be an easy first step. Of course there are personal grooming habits such as ditching facial/body hair. Depending on budget, there are certainty plenty of cute clothes made specifically for ABDL*s as well as those seeking a “Kawaii” ascetic. Ultimately it is up to the individual how far they want to take their expression and in what context. Some individuals may even benefit from a watering down of their secondary sex characteristics with tools such as binders (for breasts).
2. Affirmation of Identity-
While it is certainty true that many ABDL*s have strong associations towards objects, humans are social creatures and have an inherent need to feel connected to their community. Transparency and authenticity are essential aspects of the bonding experience. Simply put, disengaged people are not happy people. On top of bulling, the worry of an ally should be isolation, and self-esteem. It can be as simple as respecting pronouns, and not dead naming someone. Really choosing language that respects someone’s identity. For a Sissy, “handsome” might not be a compliment.
ABDL*s (or anyone) has to spend time surrounding themselves with people who love and support all of them. If this means pruning relationships and learning the signs of abuse, so be it. Relationships can of course be restructured or eliminated. If someone doesn’t like the “real you” then why be around them?
3. Community Involvement:
Despite the author’s mixed experiences (especially as a minor at the time) in the larger ABDL* community… There is something to be said about finding others of your own kind. Meeting other ABDL*s provides (supposed to): validation, opportunities for self-reflection, and potentially companionship. Being involved in the ABDL* community does not necessarily mean physically interacting with people. Being involved can be as simple as consuming ABDL* centric art or participating in discussions on line. There are numerous sites (ADISC, Tumblr, Fetlife, Reddit (r/ABDL)) that pander to almost anyone. Like tweaking one’s self-expression, community involvement can be as gradual as needed.
4. HRT-
In the author’s experience there is not a fine line where gender dysphoria ends, and age dysphoria begins. For some ABDL*s secondary sex characteristics and the prospect of puberty on the horizon are too much to handle (particularly those already questioning their gender identity). The Author’s experiences. Hormone blockers, and HRT can also be a life-line for those experiencing dysphoria relating to unwanted development of their sexuality.
5. Co-morbidity:
It goes without saying that any marginalized population can be stressed out. While going after age/gender dysphoria directly is a valid approach, mental health concerns have to be managed. The path towards being authentic and happy as and ABDL* is one of many gradual steps. Anxiety and depression in particular can be a hindrance. While the net effect of acceptance is positive, there can be a lot of “un-boxing” that goes on with regard to pent up emotions. Trust issues can persist. If an individual is not sure how to embrace their ABDL*ness, addressing co-morbid issues can be a good place to start.
On the flip-side many issues can be managed without being mutually ignoring with one’s identity as an ABDL. To be blunt, some ABDL*s are “over-sized babies at their wits end”. We are not too old to be soothed by our favorite pacifier or stuffie. For us regression can be a powerful tool. In fact some ABDL*s consider their behavior strictly a coping mechanism.
Additionally for those with supportive relationships, regression can be a gateway towards better self-care. There are a number of ABDL*s with health issues that have a “big” that looks after them. Sometimes it can be as simple as “If you do your homework today I will let you have ice-cream”. ABDL*s undoubtedly err on the side of co-dependence in relationships and sometimes all we need is a nudge to better reach our potential, embracing our ABDL*ness can provide a language to do exactly that.
Age dysphoria can be thought of as a small sub-set of gender dysphoria. As with gender dysphoria, it could be said that age dysphoria could be kind of an irrelevant definition or even a harmful attempt to pathologize a group of people who don’t technically have a problem (rather society has a problem).
Simply put, people don’t like acting/presenting as something they are not just because thats the way their body decided to develop…
Typical Presentation:
1. An enduring concept of self that is younger than one’s chronological age.
2. Intense dissatisfaction with adult characteristics
3. Persistent fantasies of being younger
4. Persistent role-playing (regression) as being younger than one’s chronological age.
Common Triggers:
Body Image: being large, body hair, breast development, acne, muscle tone, hair loss, cellulite, lowering-voice, menstruation, wrinkles
Sexuality/Intimacy: experiencing sexual feelings and or being seen as sexual can be very distressing for some people.
Language: Getting “Sir’ed/Mam’ed”, “Hey Dude!”, “Hey Sexy!” etc.
Addressing Dysphoria:
1. Make One’s Self-Expression More Congruent With Their Identity-
What this means obviously depends on how one constructs their identity within the ABDL* spectrum, however it can be said unequivocally that repressing such a large aspect of one’s nature is going to be destructive. As with any identity there is room for exploration and flexibility. The first step towards authentic self-expression may be some inward reflection followed by gradual changes. It has been said that “A suit makes the man”. Diapers are something that most ABDL*s associate with very strongly, but they are also something subtle. Wearing diapers occasionally can be an easy first step. Of course there are personal grooming habits such as ditching facial/body hair. Depending on budget, there are certainty plenty of cute clothes made specifically for ABDL*s as well as those seeking a “Kawaii” ascetic. Ultimately it is up to the individual how far they want to take their expression and in what context. Some individuals may even benefit from a watering down of their secondary sex characteristics with tools such as binders (for breasts).
2. Affirmation of Identity-
While it is certainty true that many ABDL*s have strong associations towards objects, humans are social creatures and have an inherent need to feel connected to their community. Transparency and authenticity are essential aspects of the bonding experience. Simply put, disengaged people are not happy people. On top of bulling, the worry of an ally should be isolation, and self-esteem. It can be as simple as respecting pronouns, and not dead naming someone. Really choosing language that respects someone’s identity. For a Sissy, “handsome” might not be a compliment.
ABDL*s (or anyone) has to spend time surrounding themselves with people who love and support all of them. If this means pruning relationships and learning the signs of abuse, so be it. Relationships can of course be restructured or eliminated. If someone doesn’t like the “real you” then why be around them?
3. Community Involvement:
Despite the author’s mixed experiences (especially as a minor at the time) in the larger ABDL* community… There is something to be said about finding others of your own kind. Meeting other ABDL*s provides (supposed to): validation, opportunities for self-reflection, and potentially companionship. Being involved in the ABDL* community does not necessarily mean physically interacting with people. Being involved can be as simple as consuming ABDL* centric art or participating in discussions on line. There are numerous sites (ADISC, Tumblr, Fetlife, Reddit (r/ABDL)) that pander to almost anyone. Like tweaking one’s self-expression, community involvement can be as gradual as needed.
4. HRT-
In the author’s experience there is not a fine line where gender dysphoria ends, and age dysphoria begins. For some ABDL*s secondary sex characteristics and the prospect of puberty on the horizon are too much to handle (particularly those already questioning their gender identity). The Author’s experiences. Hormone blockers, and HRT can also be a life-line for those experiencing dysphoria relating to unwanted development of their sexuality.
5. Co-morbidity:
It goes without saying that any marginalized population can be stressed out. While going after age/gender dysphoria directly is a valid approach, mental health concerns have to be managed. The path towards being authentic and happy as and ABDL* is one of many gradual steps. Anxiety and depression in particular can be a hindrance. While the net effect of acceptance is positive, there can be a lot of “un-boxing” that goes on with regard to pent up emotions. Trust issues can persist. If an individual is not sure how to embrace their ABDL*ness, addressing co-morbid issues can be a good place to start.
On the flip-side many issues can be managed without being mutually ignoring with one’s identity as an ABDL. To be blunt, some ABDL*s are “over-sized babies at their wits end”. We are not too old to be soothed by our favorite pacifier or stuffie. For us regression can be a powerful tool. In fact some ABDL*s consider their behavior strictly a coping mechanism.
Additionally for those with supportive relationships, regression can be a gateway towards better self-care. There are a number of ABDL*s with health issues that have a “big” that looks after them. Sometimes it can be as simple as “If you do your homework today I will let you have ice-cream”. ABDL*s undoubtedly err on the side of co-dependence in relationships and sometimes all we need is a nudge to better reach our potential, embracing our ABDL*ness can provide a language to do exactly that.
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